Hollywood bites

Last week was marked by a sudden and uncharacteristic bout of depression, which began sometime around Wednesday and lasted until Sunday.

During this time I existed under a cloud of gloom so heavy that I was walking with a stoop. A veil had dropped and the world became a pretty crappy place by all accounts, populated by grim people.

I longed for smiling faces, for a sign that someone, at least, was enjoying themselves.

That must be why I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall twice. I know this is essentially a film about a bloke who has had his heart broken by a sour faced blonde ex (we've all had them) but in my bout of melancholy the gags and the smile of Mila Kunis (pictured) were like beacons of hope. And it's got a happy ending.

The trouble is, the humour of this movie, and the laugh they seemed to have had making it, brought on anxiety like I had never experienced before. I became overwhelmed by the feeling that I was missing out on all this fun to be had in Hollywood. Life was passing me by. I could not leave it a moment longer - I would have to go over there.

So by Friday I had decided that we should no longer live in England (I would take Lizzie and her smile with me, whether she likes it or not).

The upshot of this is that our Managing Editor has an application on her desk for the position of LA Correspondent and if I had seen the job of anchorman for KTLA TV a little sooner I would probably have applied for that, too. I also know the best neighbourhoods to live in, what the traffic is like and that the sun shines for 340 days of the year.

By Saturday, day three of the depression, I had been through a blow-by-blow re-run of sad stuff and tried to find my dog's ashes on a hill. I had also researched the best place to stay in LA (Chateau Marmont).

If it had gone on any longer I would probably have booked a flight. But when I woke up on Sunday my cloud had lifted.

The cause of that episode? I reckon it has to be the antihistamine pill I took for horsefly bites. Depression and anxiety are known side effects.

I might add to that a desire to go to Hollywood. Which still seems to be in my system.

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