Sunday, 31 October 2010

The North Face Purple Label Gore Tex trenchcoat: somebody shoot me

I really ought to be careful of what I wish for. Some time ago, around the time I was daydreaming about creating my own clothing label or something similar, I remember posting on this very blog of my desire for a trenchcoat made of Gore Tex, and my amazement that no one had thought to produce one.

In my rose-tinted daydream I imagined a brand of integrity to pick up the baton, someone of the likes of Visvim, or Albam, even Dunhill. Someone who could do the piece justice.

My call has been answered, by the North Face.

You wouldn't see anything by the North Face in my wardrobe, but that's mainly because they produce garments in the volumes that Bic produces pens. But they are quite handy in the manufacture of generic black nylon jackets with no particular shape.
And they've done some stuff with Supreme.

This doesn't mean they can produce a trench. Old it might be, but the cut of the trenchcoat has undergone many subtle variations in its time and to do it well is akin to gourmet bangers and mash - it might seem pretty basic but the proof is in the flavour.

This does not look like a tasty bangers and mash. This isn't even Wall's microwave sausages and smash. This would make the designer of those first Aquascutum Great War officer-issue coats turn in his grave.

This is sacrilege. I truly wish I'd never mentioned a Gore Tex trenchcoat.

Shapeless, hanging in all the wrong places, too long, and if I'm not mistaken devoid of that classic trench feature, the gunflap to the shoulder, fer chrissakes.

Before you turn around and tell me you actually like this, just have a flick on and see how it should be done.

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