Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Jazzy funk

Dozing off on the train when my nostrils are filled with a sickly stench, evoking painful memories of misdirected teenage years I'd rather forget.

YSL Jazz. Made me feel nauseous then and it makes me want to retch all over this man who is violating my nostrils now. It might actually make him smell better.

Back in the late eighties the stuff was all the rage. That and Kouros, equally offensive. I think Joop! was also an option. The kind of aftershaves that are less a refreshing sensation than a full frontal indecent assault on the snout. They would strip paint. I thought they'd been banned.

Nevertheless at the time they were an improvement on the Old Spice my mum splashed over me just as I was leaving for my first school disco, with the immortal words: "you'll be fighting the girls off now!" Well mum, I didn't.

So have I gone into a timewarp or is this person actually wearing 20-year-old aftershave? There's a credit crunch on I know, but are people really that poor?

I Google it. They still make it. Costs £30. You can get something decent for that price.

I don't know what bothers me more - the fact it is still being made or that people buy it.

The Jazz is in my nose, I can smell it everywhere, like a rolling flashback. If it carries on like this I'll be wearing Global Hypercolour t-shirts again. Don't tell me they still make them. Surely not.

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1 comment:

  1. Mate I was in an Indian supermarket in Dubai the other day and they were selling Denim. Same box, same bottle and the same disgusting smell as the 1970's version. Aside from selling Denim it's a quality supermarket though. They'll even deliver a pint of milk and packet of chocolate digestives to your flat if you call them. Great for when you're in the middle of a House box-set marathon and it's 40 degrees outside.