The white stuff

The milk situation in this office has been a source 0f friction for years. People moaning that they're "always buying it but there's neveer any left when I want a cuppa," different desks claiming ownership to a given pint.

There are solutions - a milk fund, labelling of individual bottles - all open to fraud and theft.

Then there's the issue of who clears it up when it spills in the fridge - judging by the putrid stench emanating from said appliance as I write, this is not a task easily delegated.

In a nutshell, milk is a political hot potato. Wars have been waged over less.

On Friday, a worrying development - the first bottle of milk to be wrapped in a bag. An ominously black bag. This would not be touched because aside from the presence of the bag clearly marking out as something someone might want to take home rather than share with the office, the liquid in the bottle might be something else. Like calomine lotion, for instance.

I made no secret of my rage. How selfish can you get, populating the fridge with milk for personal consumption? Where was the team spirit, comrade?

Today, as part of my role as a contributing member of the office, I walked in with a pint.

"You needn't have done that," explained my boss, "I've got a load in the fridge. It's in a black bin liner. For some reason no one touches it."

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